Most useful thing I did today: showed Mom how to work the CD player in her newish PT Cruiser.

Best food I made today: Jellybeans and peanuts mixed (seriously, try it)

Most obnoxious thing one of my children said to me today: “Mom, why do all of the jellybeans look like asses?”

Best song I downloaded today: Poison’s Unskinny Bop (kiss my ass, it’s a good song)

Best surprise today: Amish starter bread from my usually wretched neighbor.

Best phone call I made: “Crse, I made a mistake. The guy’s name was Dr. Warship Dracula, not Captain Warship Dracula.”

What I bought the most of today: Twenty eight “magic towels,” each with a picture of a planet on it.

Best countdown (of the year really): eight more days of the passive-aggressive preschool teacher.

Today’s Best email: An Earth Day reminder from the Lorax.

The best thing I saw today: My girls eating ice-cream cones on the swing set.