Friends, I’m day three into a facebook binge. Crse and her cousin/my friend L shamed me into getting on. I think L even threatened to withhold real time friendship until I accepted her facebook friend request. And then they greeted me with lots of flair.

All I have to say is the first one’s free friends… the first one’s free.

I’m sending flair and super-poking and turning people into vampires and zombies. More accurately, I’m racing Crse to turn new people into vampires and zombies. I actually said something to her like “What do you mean you bit Chris? He’s mine!”

But count on a far more mature and sophisticated friend, Tyler, to gently nudge me back to reality. I think I zombied, flaired, and cast spells on him yesterday (you’re starting to regret confirming that friend request, aren’t you?). This morning, Tyler posted this to his facebook profile: “Tyler remembers when he too, was first fascinated by all of the shiny objects on facebook.”

Really though, the facebook thing is a distraction from my reality of having been bitch-slapped by the patriarchy for the past couple of days. Now, for sure, I’m bitch-slapping the patriarchy right back, but I’m also medicating with flair. I just need it today, okay? I can quit anytime.

For those who don’t facebook, pieces of flair look like buttons. We pick them or we send them to our friends and we post them on our profile pages. I love flair! Flair is the visual representation of how I see myself and how my friends see me (except for the Jesus flair which I only displayed because my sweet nephew sent it to me). Flair comes in either pictures, quotes, or a combination. I like the quote flair because I think in words.

Lucy’s Flair:

• The most violent element in society is intolerance.
• Peace and love, bitches.
• Mr. Darcy gave me unrealistic expectations of men.
• I love Sirius Black. Dude, he has a flying motorbike.
• Yes, I know he’s fictional.
• Well-behaved women seldom make history.
• Come together.
• Some girls blend in. We prefer to make a scene.
• I judge you when you use poor grammar.
• I make random Harry Potter references to see if people get them.
• Do you have self-control?
• It’s not just some books about a wizard.
• Deathly Hallows Spoiler: Dumbledore was an other.
• I love my dead gay headmaster.
• Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupid.
• Stewart/Colbert 08.
• Imagine.
• Support love.
• Shine your light and let the whole world see.
• I want an invisibility cloak.

Flair gives me the chance to post little pieces of my personality, my politics, my philosophy, and my sense of humor. Sending flair to my friends allows me to amuse them, even momentarily, and to acknowledge their uniqueness…their places my life. I was solidly anti-facebook for a long time, but now I get the appeal. I can log onto my account and quickly and easily say “I thought of you.” And then go right back to getting bitch-slapped by the patriarchy with a smile, knowing there’s a a little bit of humor or inspiration from a friend waiting for me.